


Letting Go

by Anonymous



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Dorks in Love, Emo Zuko, M/M, Major Character Injury, Redemption, Self Sacrifice, Torture, Whump, Zuko is way too stubborn, Zuko’s guilt, self hate, sweet sokka, zukka - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:54:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24515743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Zuko has never been able to let go of his mistakes. He will let them eat him until there is nothing left inside but determination to right his wrongs, no matter what it takes.His first mistake led him on a three year hunt for the Avatar. His self-inflicted punishment for his biggest mistake could be so much worse.Sokka won’t let him punish himself anymore- but how does he convince the most headstrong man in the fire nation that his past doesn’t have to define him?
Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 198
Collections: Anonymous





	1. Chapter 1

Zuko came to the conclusion that it was the trip to the Boiling Rock that destroyed him. After him, Sokka, Suki, and Hakoda returned safely to camp, he had to walk away. He had to leave, because it was too damn hard to watch this family have what he wished he could have, and took from so many others.

The night was warm and humid, which was pretty normal for the Fire Nation that time of year. The stars shined brightly, and the moon even brighter. It was peaceful, Zuko thought. It helped calm him down. 

Even though his fire bending no longer was controlled by his emotions, sometimes they still affected him. Sparks flew off of his fingers and landed on the dirt path, but he paid them no mind. All he could think of was that it was  _ his fault _ that so many of those prisoners were trapped on the Boiling Rock. Maybe he didn’t directly send them there, but still.

He clenched his smoldering fists.

He had power before he was banished. He had the Fire Nation behind him in some respects. He could’ve made some sort of a difference if he’d just opened his eyes sooner-

“Zuko?” A sudden voice startled him into an attack stance, both hands lighting up. His head swirled and felt incredibly light. “Woah there, it’s just me.” Zuko’s features relaxed in recognition, and his breathing slowed. It was just Sokka.

“Oh. Hi.” The prince said awkwardly, his heart inexplicably beating faster. Sokka walked closer, his eyes and smile glowing in the moonlight. 

“Hey Jerkbender-“ Zuko frowned. “are you okay?” Sokka put a hand on his shoulder, and Zuko immediately stiffened. He wasn’t used to casual physical contact unless it was from his Uncle. Sokka withdrew his hand immediately. “I’ll uh, take that as a no, then.” He said sheepishly, putting his arms behind his back. Zuko hated to see that crestfallen look on the Water Tribesman’s face. A frown just didn’t suit him, and frankly he wanted to pull the younger man into a hug. But that didn’t seem appropriate.

“I’m just tired.” Zuko said, turning away to keep walking. His mind was just racing so fast he could hardly complete a thought. He was full of guilt and anger at himself and memories of all of those prisoners suffering danced through his thoughts-

“Zuko.” Sokka said.

“What?” A pause.

“Your hands are on fire again.” Zuko looked down. Huh, so they were. He scoffed and extinguished them, and continued on his way. Spirits, what did a guy have to do to get some privacy around here? 

There was silence for a few minutes. Zuko knew that Sokka was following him; the man wasn’t exactly stealthy. Zuko should’ve yelled at him to go and return to his father and sister and just leave him alone because he was a  _ monster. _ But he didn’t. He just let Mr. Pretty Blue Eyes follow him until they reached the top of the cliff and sat on the edge overlooking the forest. 

“What are you blaming yourself for?” Sokka asked after they sat in silence for a while. Zuko looked at him. “I could see it all over your face. I’m not Toph.” What was he, a mind reader or something? Sokka’s eyes were trained on the moon. His first girlfriend. Typical.

“Nothing.” He replied. The other man chuckled to himself.

“You know, I’ve only really known you for a short time.” Sokka said, ripping his eyes away from the sky and placing his gaze right onto Zuko’s. “But you are one of the worst liars I’ve ever met.” The fire prince stayed quiet. How could he just spill his heart out to this boy about all of his guilt when they’d just come back from a life changing trip that PROVED how evil the Fire Nation was? How could he pretend that his problems were worth the time of Sokka, who had lost so much? He slapped at a moth-mosquito on his wrist. He needed to scream. The air was heavy with silence for a few moments, during which Zuko spent beating himself up for being such a fucking awful person. He missed his uncle. He wanted to take Sokka and run.

“You know, I’ve changed so much throughout this journey with Aang.” Sokka spoke quietly, breaking the silence. “I used to be a sexist little kid who knew that I would never be good enough. I would never be my dad. I would never bring back my mother. I would never live up to Katara, because she was a bender.” His voice stayed steady as he spoke, and Zuko found himself leaning towards him. “I hated myself for not being strong enough to protect my people and do what was right. I hated that I couldn’t make a change.” Blue eyes met gold, and there was electricity. “But then I came on this incredible journey and learned so much about myself. I learned that I am strong, and that teamwork leads to victory. I learned that I’m a strategist and that I’m worthy.” Zuko was sucked in. Nothing else existed other than Sokka at that moment. “Zuko, I learned to let go.” 

Let go. That was something he knew he would never be able to do. There was so much guilt filling his heart. So much shame. Zuko was a disgrace to his homeland, but he was also a disgrace to the rebellion. Who in their right mind would trust him to not turn them over to Azula? Who would trust him to not kill them in the first place?

Sokka’s breathing was a comfort while his mind ripped him apart. The trip to Boiling Rock had opened Zuko’s eyes to just how incredible the man was. He was brave and selfless and smart and calm. He was a warrior. 

And now that incredible man was spilling his heart to him, a member of the group of benders who killed his mother. Hell, Zuko had almost personally killed  _ him.  _ And yet now Sokka trusted him with his deepest thoughts. Somehow, he found himself speaking.

“I feel so out of control.” Zuko whispered. He felt Sokka perk up next to him, and almost cracked a smile. “Everything is happening around me, and I’ve never felt so powerless. I was- I  _ am _ -“ Zuko hated how his voice wavered. Weak. “a monster.”

“You’re not a monster.” Sokka said firmly, taking Zuko’s hand. He tried not to pull away because fuck Sokka’s hands were soft and warm and textured with callouses only owned by master swordsmen. 

“How can you say that after all that I’ve done?” Zuko absentmindedly squeezed the other man’s hand. “Sokka I almost  _ killed you. _ So many times.” Tears prickled the back of Zuko’s eyes.  _ Weak, weak, weak. _

“You thought you were doing what was right-“

“But I was wrong.” Zuko said, and released Sokka’s hand. He didn’t see the sad look on the Water Tribesman’s face. “And I have no way to fix my mistakes. No reason to be forgiven. No way to right my wrongs-“ He started to pace.

“You’re righting your wrongs by fighting with us!” Sokka was almost pleading with Zuko to understand. There was just too much guilt, too many voices calling him a monster. They sounded like Azula. “Please Zuko, you can’t pin the war on yourself. You’re a victim of circumstance, just like everyone else. You didn’t ask for this-“

“Neither did you.” Zuko said coldly. The voices were silenced. Something clicked. “I won’t let anyone believe that I have any allegiance to my father. I’d rather die than have that on me for another day.”

“Spirits, where is this coming from?” The care in Sokka’s voice was too much. Zuko’s heart burned. He didn’t deserve it. 

“I hurt you.” The tears started to fall. “I refuse to hurt you anymore.” How had he let himself get close like this? It had only been what, three weeks and he already had a thing for someone who would never in a billion years want him back? Pathetic. Sokka let out a frustrated sigh.

“You’re not hurting me anymore. We NEED you, Zuko. No one here blames you but yourself. You need to let go of your past-“

“Enough!” Sokka stumbled back, eyes wide. He looked afraid. How could he not? “Enough.” The silence was deafening as the moonlight shined down, taunting Zuko. The tears wouldn’t stop. “Just leave me alone.” He said. Sokka opened his mouth to protest, but decided against it. 

“Fine.” The blue eyed man turned away and took a few steps in the direction of the camp, but paused and looked back with sad eyes. “I care about you Zuko. No matter who you used to be.” Sokka said, and then walked off into the night, leaving Zuko alone. 

The night suddenly felt so much colder.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sokka worries about Zuko, and Suki offers some insight

The walk back to camp felt a whole lot longer when he wasn’t following Zuko. God, that guy walked fast.

As he trekked along the dark trail, Sokka couldn’t help but mumble angrily under his breath. Why was Zuko so damn headstrong? If he hadn’t known any better, Sokka would have assumed that he was an earth bender instead of fire. Why couldn’t he see that he wasn’t the man he used to be?

Sokka paused and listened to the croaking of the toad-frogs. They had no worries except whether or not something was gonna come eat them. He was jealous, honestly. Getting eaten was the least of his worries at the moment. His blue eyes traced the tree line before they met the silver moon. Sokka sighed. It was so beautiful and serene. So calm. The opposite of Zuko-

And yet Zuko somehow managed to pull him in more.

“Yue, I really wish you were here.” Sokka said, sadly. The cool wind rustled his clothes- It was a refreshing respite from the endless heat of the fire nation. “We didn’t know each other for very long…” He paused, then smiled softly to himself while shaking his head. “I bet you gave great advice. I could really use it right now.” Sokka had moved on, of course. Losing Yue broke his heart, not just because he thought he loved her, but because he felt like he’d let his tribe down. He fell back into Suki’s arms, but even though he once again thought he loved her, something didn’t feel right. It just didn’t click for him- not like it clicked when he was with Zuko.

So yeah, maybe Sokka liked the fire prince. Maybe he more than liked the guy, sure. 

Sokka’s heart was still pounding from their interaction, but his calm breathing was helping to slow it down. Zuko was so at war with himself. Sokka didn’t understand how one person could hold so much hatred inside their body. It pained him to see the conflict in those beautiful amber eyes of his- it pained him even more to see those tears. Sokka once again concentrated on the glow of the moon and the stars. “How do you tell someone who you used to want to kill, and who used to want to kill you, that you’re in love with him?” He asked, letting his voice drift off into the breeze.

“You just have to be brave enough to tell him.” A sudden voice behind Sokka said. And of course Sokka screamed and got into battle position.

“I’ll kill you, don’t test me!” He cried, getting into a weird mantis kind of stance while going for his sword, which hung at his belt. Instead of the shrieks of fear he’d hoped to be met with, all he got was laughter from the person in the dark. That is, until she stepped out of the shadows of the trees and into the moonlight. Sokka sighed and sheathed his sword, backing out of his ‘warrior pose.’ “Spirits Suki, don’t sneak up on me like that. I could’ve killed you.” Sokka declared seriously. Suki just rolled her eyes and laughed harder.

“With that stance I don’t think you’d be doing much killing.” The Kyoshi warrior replied easily.

“Well that’s just your opinion-“ Sokka grumbled, folding his arms over his chest.

“Sorry, sorry. I didn’t mean it.” Suki said. She took in Sokka’s obvious upset state that she hadn’t noticed while walking up to him. He was curled into himself, and if she was seeing correctly, had tears in his eyes. She stepped closer, concerned, and put a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, are you okay? I really didn’t mean to scare you-“ Sokka brushed her off and continued looking off into the sky. 

“It’s not you, don’t worry.” He said. 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah.”

Silence washed over the pair. Suki took him in for a moment, staring at the warrior washed in the soft light. She was still amazed by how different he was each time she saw him. When they first met, he was nothing more than a pathetic, sexist, and almost annoying kid. Now, he was anything but.

He’d gained muscle mass, that much was obvious from his sleeveless Fire Nation disguise. His warm brown skin was marred by several white scars that almost seemed to glow, and was he taller? Suki didn’t remember having to look up at him when they were talking when she first met him, but now she couldn’t meet his clear blue eyes without doing so. His hair was longer, no longer shaved close on both sides, however he still had his warrior wolftail, which she learned to be a signature Southern Water Tribe warrior style. His jawline was sharper, and he just looked overall older and wiser. But he was still the same Sokka- he’d just grown.

The wind blew Suki’s hair so that it tickled her cheeks, making her brush it behind her ears. She would have to cut it soon. Much like she’d have to cut Zuko if he hurt Sokka.

“So…” He cocked an eyebrow. “Are you gonna tell me what’s wrong, or do I have to go find Zuko and ask him myself?” Those words totally broke Sokka’s little serious facade, his face immediately reddening as he started to sputter.

“Zuko has nothing to do with my mood! I don’t know how you would think that-“

“I saw you follow him after he left looking all stuck in his head when we got back.” Sokka calmed down a little, obviously unsure about what to say. Suki turned and gestures for him to follow her back in the direction of camp. Away from Zuko. “C’mon, you can tell me what’s wrong on the way back to the others.” Sokka started to follow, but then hesitated. What if Zuko came looking for him? What if something happened? Suki’s face softened. “He probably just needs to think. We just got back from a stressful mission, we all need to decompress.” She said, and finally Sokka turned to follow her. 

The path was rocky, but not too hard to follow, even in the dark. The sounds of the forest filled the pairs’ ears, and they just enjoyed the familiar company as they walked. Suki didn’t want to push him to talk- something pretty serious must’ve happened if the king of rambling was staying quiet.

“He blames himself. For everything.” Sokka sounded pained as he spoke. “He thinks he’s a monster, and refuses to let go of his past. He’s gonna kill himself under all that pressure.”

“I’m sorry, Sokka. I really am.” Suki said. “He needs time, this is all still so new to him.” The fires of their camp slowly came into view as she spoke. Faint sounds of laughter drifted through the air along the breeze, along with the scent of some sort of meat cooking. Aang must not be too happy about that. “He just left behind everything he’s ever known a few weeks ago. And Sokka, he obviously cares about you.” Sokka perked up at that, a small dorky smile pulling at his lips. 

“You think so?”

“I really do. And I really think that once he cools down, he’ll realize that he has nothing more to prove, and that he’s changed.” Sokka visibly relaxed at her words of reassurance. Were they true? Who knows. But if they put her friend at ease, Suki was willing to say anything. 

They continued to chat until they heard Aang yelling their names. Sokka couldn’t help but smile at the sight of his best friend sprinting towards him with a huge grin on his face. He never got tired of it.

“I’m glad you found him Suki, Katara was starting to worry-“

“No I wasn’t!” Katara called, making Sokka roll his eyes. Aang paid neither of them any mind as he escorted them back into the midst of the camp.

“Where’s Zuko? Were you able to find him?” Hakoda asked his son with obvious concern. The man was very perceptive- he knew there had to be a little something going on between the prince and his son. Sokka nodded his head dejectedly, but said nothing. “Where is he?” 

“He needs time to cool off.” Sokka replied, and didn’t elaborate. Everyone in the group took this as a cue to just drop the subject- even Toph kept her mouth shut about it in favor of teasing Sokka about how boomerangs were inefficient weapons. 

Eventually, after plenty of eating and messing around, everyone was settled in to sleep. Aang’s snores filled the air, and a blanket of humidity settled over the camp.

Well, everyone was asleep except for Sokka.

Something was wrong, and he knew it. 

He sat up off of his bedroll, and wrapped his arms around his knees. Zuko should’ve been back already, even if he was mad at himself. It wasn’t safe out there, especially with Azula looking for them. He should’ve known that everyone would worry- that _Sokka_ would worry. 

The Water Tribesman chewed on his bottom lip nervously. He felt it in his gut. Something was very, very wrong. 

Those suspicions were confirmed by a blast of light in the distance. Sokka jumped to his feet and grabbed his sword, not even bothering to wake the others.

There wasn’t enough time. Zuko was in trouble. _Fuck_ , Zuko could be hurt, or worse. 

Sokka sprinted through the trees, his face getting cut by sharp limbs, and his feet getting bloodied by sharp rocks- he didn’t have time for shoes when Zuko could be dead. 

He panted as he ran and ran and _ran_ in the direction of the light until he saw it again, much closer this time, and recognized it as blue fire.

“Shit.” Sokka mumbled as he continued to sprint as fast as he could go. As he splashed across a creek he saw yet another blast of flame. He should’ve woken the others. Fuck there would’ve been no time for that.

His hair was in his eyes, and his lungs stinging from the hot air when Sokka finally broke into the clearing. Despite what he wanted to do, (which was stab Azula until every ounce of blood was coating the forest floor and Zuko was safely wrapped in his arms,) he stayed hidden in the edge of the forest, knowing that his only advantage was the element of surprise.

Sokka looked out onto the scene, and what he saw made him want to throw up. 

There stood Azula, royal bitch amongst all bitches, standing over Zuko, who was on his knees at her feet with his wrists held out. Sokka wanted to go kill her as she laughed at him. His hand clenched around his sword as blood from a cut on his forehead poured into his left eye. She was laughing at _his_ Zuko. She deserved nothing but pain.

“This is unusual Zuko, even for you.” Azula spoke, her voice sending daggers through Sokka’s heart. She put her foot onto Zuko’s head to send him into a further bow, and laughed when he didn’t even resist. Spirits, why wasn’t he fighting back? What was happening? “Where’s that fight you had in you yesterday? That was a far cry from where you are now, groveling at my feet where you belong.” She ground her heel into his neck, and Sokka saw red. The trees behind Zuko burned brightly, casting ominous shadows around the siblings. How had she found him?

“I’m done fighting.” Sokka heard Zuko say, and he almost gasped. What did he mean he didn’t want to fight? Azula seemed to have the same question.

“And why is that, brother?” He wanted to wipe that sick smirk off her face. “Scared you’ll lose?” Zuko lifted his head.

“No.” 

And suddenly Sokka understood. 

“Fuck” he cursed under his breath. 

The son of a bitch didn’t want to fight, he wanted an example made of himself. He wanted to prove that he was willing to die for the rebellion, because he was planning something that would either get him killed by his own hand, or get him publicly executed. 

Sokka really was in love with the dumbest man to ever walk the four nations.

“Well, Zuzu, I’m not going to complain. If this is a trap, I’m not worried. I can fight any of your little friends, no problem. Though it would be a glorious sight to see the Avatar bowing down to me in exchange for less torture for you.” Sokka was fuming. That _bitch._ Fuck, Zuko that self-sacrificing _idiot_. 

Zuko didn’t reply, but turned to look into the woods, right where Sokka was hiding. 

He knew Sokka would be there.

Zuko gave out a small, sad smile, just for a moment. And it absolutely broke Sokka’s heart. He needed to go out there and free him. He had to stop this, he had to do something!

Yet Sokka knew in his heart that he was outmatched. There was just no way that he could beat Azula on his own. No, Sokka needed a plan. A big one.

Azula paid no mind to Zuko’s odd behavior. All she did was chain her brother’s hands behind his back with no resistance, pull him to his feet, and march him back to her airship.

She wasn’t even going to _look_ for Aang.

She knew that if she had Zuko, Aang would follow.

Sokka watched as the airship flew away.

He did nothing.

How could he have done absolutely nothing but watch as the love of his life was taken away?

How could he let Zuko sacrifice himself to satisfy his stupid notion that he needed to prove that he was devoted to the rebellion?

How could he watch his beautiful, dark haired, pale, smart, stoic Zuko basically commit suicide in front of him?

Sokka was an idiot.

And he needed to get his idiot back.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I’m sorry there hasn’t been much action yet. I’m a very slow builder and I like to set up my characters before committing to a conflict. I really hope you like this chapter!!

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic in like a year. I’m sorry the beginning is slow, I need to get back into the swing of writing. I hope you all enjoy it enough to leave a comment so that I don’t lose motivation, because I actually have an outline for once and I want to stick to it. I love Zukka and wanted to contribute something to the fandom, so here it is! I love you all <3


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